The hardest person to lead is YOURSELF!

I’ve repeated this line over and over in my mind for weeks. When I feel like I’m failing my kids, my family, my friends or any areas of influence, this is the truth that keeps coming back to me.  

How are you leading yourself? Are you making choices to benefit your spiritual, emotional or physical health? Or are you running on empty in all categories? When life gets full or overwhelming my health is the first to take a hit. My own needs are the first off the list, and when I do take a minute I often waste it on pleasure instead of a filling.

Can I admit in your safe company, that I’m prone to use tv, chocolate or online browsing to “lift” my weary soul? And likely you know it leaves me just as empty as when I began.

What does it look like to lead yourself well? Culture has a lot of opinions on this, as well as the church and I’m often left confused and waffling between the two extremes. Self-care is a term I love and hate depending on how and by whom, it’s defined.

I’ve come face to face with my idol of comfort this past year. Pleasure and comfort are what I seek when I feel my world unravelling. Neither of these is bad things, they are actually gifts from the Father and they have served me in times of hardship but they are not to be sought over your connection with God.

When we’re at our lowest, when we’re running on empty, it’s the easiest to spot our idols. It becomes glaringly obvious where we’re turning. 

Often this caring for myself and leading myself well becomes another addition to the checklist. Did I read my Bible and get quiet time in? Check. Next, maybe I need to have a kale smoothie followed by a solid workout. Physical health, check. And let’s follow that with a counselling appointment or a coffee date with a grounded friend. Check, check and check, I’m healthy and leading myself well, but what is the actual goal in leading yourself well? How do you define success?

I recently heard a message by Pastor John Mark Comber talking about spiritual disciplines and it’s caused me to re-evaluate how I define success. He said “Success is not I read my Bible 365 days this year. Success is not I took a sabbath every Saturday this year. Success is not I spent an hour-long in silent prayer each morning.

Success is, I am becoming more loving and joyful and peaceful and hopeful. I am becoming more like Jesus.”

As we gear up to lead ourselves and others in this new year, with a new set of challenges to overcome and hopefully some victories as well, what if we started each day asking, how can I lead myself into becoming more like Jesus? These things we “do” or strive for each year are likely not the actual goal, they are the means to get there.

Take a moment and determine what is true success for you in leading yourself well. Where do you want to be by this time next year and how do you want to grow? Once we know our real end goal we can determine how to cultivate the fruit of the spirit in our lives, so we can show up better for those around us.

As leaders we must ask ourselves the question, how can we lead by our actions before leading with our words? And ultimately how can I become more loving, hopeful, joyful and peaceful. How can I become more like Jesus?