We had just sat down at the dinner table when Danny, my husband, placed his mobile phone in front of me.

“In a few minutes there’s going to be a phone call for you,” he began.

I looked up from my plate. Our eyes locked. My blood pressure rose ten points.

“And what the phone call is about you are not allowed to say no to,” he cautiously continued.

Instinctively my posture had stiffened, my jaw clenched, pupils dilated. In our 15+ years of marriage, Danny had learned how to interpret some of my body language, and he was definitely picking up the signals now. 

“Now, you’re probably going to think this is something that you cannot do, but…” He continued with extreme caution.

Here’s the thing about Danny and his little “surprises:” He can be a real loose cannon when it comes to gifts. One time it may be some delicate and sentimental trinket, then another time a fleece adult onesie dubbed the “Forever Lazy” – size extra large. (Yeah, exactly what are you insinuating there, buddy?) At least I am consistent in my gift-giving habits: I pretty much blow it every time, thus, there are no expectations and no disappointments. That’s security, my friends!

But with Danny, there’s no security.

In his calmest voice he went on, “…but you just have to go along with it.” 

His smile was weak and unconvincing.

The phone rang.

My blood pressure was now up a good 50 points! I hadn’t broken eye contact with Danny in over two minutes, or even blinked for that matter. I slowly reached for the phone, picked it up, and pressed the answer button.

“Hello?” I exhaled. (Apparently, I had also stopped breathing in those past few minutes.)

“Hello, Alycia? It’s Jenny,” said the voice on the other end of the line. Although I was somewhat relieved to hear the voice of my fellow Canadian friend who had also immigrated here to the Middle East with her family, I was hesitant to let my guard down yet.

“Hello, Jenny...How are you…” and what the James Earl Jones is going on here?!?! My mind was racing! The panic was taking over! I began to intercede: Oh Lord! What if Danny has arranged for me to go out in public tonight? My life was still that of a mother with young children and I hadn’t showered in days, changed out of my pyjamas in weeks, or slept in months! Most days I felt like there were people in rehab who looked like they had it more together than me!

“I’m good! So, listen, tomorrow you and I are going on a MOMS-ONLY getaway to a hotel with a SPA! What do you say? Are you in?”

I slowly drew a breath in. (Apparently, I was still not breathing normally.)

“Shut up,” I said. “Just shut up. You had me at hello.”

I looked up at Danny, his face contorted in a half-smile, not sure yet if his surprise would generate a positive or negative response.

“Now, I know you’re probably worried about how the kids and I will…” he began.

I leapt up from the table. “I’m outta here!” I squealed, interrupting his prepared speech and dashed upstairs to pack.

The next day I bid my family farewell (at least I think I did. I was pretty excited about my mom-holiday) and went to meet my friend at the airport. Both of us had young children and could barely contain at our excitement! Oh, the things we would NOT be doing for the next 48 hours! No cooking, no cleaning. There would be no fussing, fighting, or whining. No puke, poop, or other bodily fluids to wipe. We could eat what we wanted, when we wanted, sleep without interruption, go to the bathroom ALONE! And remain ALONE! I slipped the taxi driver another $5 and told him to drive faster. 

When we arrived at the hotel, there was an instant shift in mood. It was eerily quiet. There was no one around whatsoever. The lobby was mostly dark except for the dimly lit area over the reception desk, where a lady stood vigorously waving us over. We cautiously crossed the shadowy floor, the receptionist staring at us with glistening eyes, like she hadn’t seen another soul in years. After we checked in, she handed us our key and a brochure for the spa. Passing through the halls, we could tell, without a doubt, that we were the only ones there. Every door to each room was gaping open revealing it to be abandoned. I half-expected someone in a hazmat suit to pop out at any moment and tell us this floor had been evacuated! We scurried down the hall and found our room, quickly shutting and locking the door behind us.

It didn’t take us long to shake off the “heebie-jeebies” once we were inside. It was crisp, clean, and quiet, with that unmistakable clean hotel scent! We chattered and chirped away as we settled in. Jenny grabbed the pamphlet for the hotel spa and began to translate it.

“Well,” she said as she glanced between the pamphlet and the translation app on her phone, “It says here that in the spa they have hot tubs, massage, and saunas… and an adventure shower???”

“A what now?” I asked. She handed me the brochure and I typed the words into Google Translate. Sure enough, it replied “Adventure Shower.” For some reason, those two words together did not seem right. Despite the disturbing possibilities of what the “adventure shower” was, we were eager to hit the spa and let the relaxing begin! We changed into our swimming gear, hopped in the elevator, and headed to the spa downstairs.

The basement floor button lit up and the doors painfully squeaked open. Just as before in the lobby, we were greeted by silence and darkness. The only light in the foyer was the flicker from an abandoned maintenance closet. The faint sound of a leaky faucet echoed down the ominous abyss of the corridor. Drip. Drip. Drip. Yep, this had the potential of becoming another one of life’s witty little anecdotes, or the pilot episode for an international version of “Unsolved Mysteries.” Whichever way it went, neither possibility involved me getting a 30 minute deep-tissue massage.

As the elevator slowly squeaked shut behind us, a hand-written sign revealed itself on the outside doors:

“Spa closed for maintenance.”

Unfulfilled expectations. It’s the number one cause of disappointment (not that we needed a lot of research to diagnose that one). It’s why critics give only three out of five stars to new movies. It’s why customers don’t go back to “that hotel,” or “that restaurant,” or “that store.” It’s the why people leave their jobs. Or their relationships. Or their churches.

In our time, somehow the definitions of “expectations” and “faith” can become melded together. Expectations disguised as faith have led to many believers feeling let down by their church, unfulfilled in their daily walk with the Lord, and disappointed by God.

Take these four statements into consideration:

1.    Expectationsare rooted in the presumption that God will work things out for our desires, in our timing, in our way. Faithtrusts that God is who He says He is, and that we are a part of His plan. (Romans 8:28)

2.    Expectations seek after our own personal benefits, which often results in stress and disappointment when unfulfilled. Faith allows us to stay positive and be flexible when our circumstances change. (Matthew 11:30)

3.    Expectations only focus on what we see and understand, and on what we think could and should happen. Faithcarries us and gives peace when we are against circumstances beyond our control. (Hebrews 11:1)

4.    Expectations limit the possibilities. Faith –the possibilities are endless! (Matthew 17:20)

While expectations dangle you over a cliff of “coulda-shoulda-woulda’s,” faith wraps around you with peace, strength, and wisdom.

If I look back at the times when I’ve felt the most overwhelmed or the most stressed or the most insecure about the roles and responsibilities I step into, I bet you 11 times out of 10 it was because my expectations were my fuel instead of my faith. I had expectations of the work, of the outcome, of others, of myself. My expectations left very little room for grace, thankfulness, and recovery. I expected to have control over the situation from start to finish. Not even God expects that from me! Instead, He calls me to have faith in Him and how He will accomplish that which He has started. I still have my talents and abilities, goals and dreams, but the Lord’s understanding of them goes far beyond any of my expectations! In essence, with expectations, the focus is inward. With faith, the focus is upward.

Were Jenny and I still able to have a good time despite being trapped in an abandoned hotel with no spa? Definitely! Not only did we have a great time talking, laughing, and encouraging one another, the next morning we snuck back into the spa and did some exploring! We even found out what the “adventure shower” was! Turns out it was just a jazzed up walk in shower with really loud rainforest and thunderstorm sound effects. (And, boy, were we both relieved!)

May our prayer be that God would sift through our desires and separate our worldly expectations from true faith in Him!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ephesians 3:20-21